There are times during the life of a Principal or Headteacher where the role can become something of an obsession. 

This state of affairs usually manifests itself in negative ways. Stress can build day on day, leading to a feeling of being overwhelmed, sleepless nights, depression and worse. Covid obviously exacerbated the issues, and it’s not incredibly surprising when statistics like ‘Two in five headteachers plan to leave the profession early within the next five years, with the most experienced leaders twice as likely to be plotting their exit’ open articles.

Obsession is, of course, a negative emotion, and one which is particularly dangerous when it continually preoccupies or intrudes on the mind. There is, however, a fine line between this and passion, and with the right levels of passion, incredible things can be done. 

Australian psychologist Paul Carvel calls obsession a ‘negative’ passion. He goes on to state that ‘obsession is a lot like holding a flame in your hand. It is powerful and can produce the heat of passion and power and drive. But it can also consume and destroy.’ This is a well reasoned warning.

I’ve gone through periods of time in my brief tenure as Principal where I’ve had to deal with a range of issues which have driven me to such emotions. One can often find themselves going over and over things at night, lying awake, seeking a solution to a problem which doesn’t come easily. Doing any job well requires a certain degree of commitment, and I am absolutely dedicated to my task at Ealing Independent College - largely as I enjoy it tremendously and find it immensely rewarding - but there are times where one can become wound too tight, and this can have seriously detrimental knock on effects, to my happiness, to my health and to my effect on those around me.

I have and, as far as I can recall, have always had a rather obsessive personality.

Though I would not call myself a perfectionist, I hold myself to very high standards on every aspect of my life. I want a degree of excellence - and if things are not progressing or improving towards those standards, I question the reasons and I intervene.

I read a thoughtful article the other day entitled ‘Six Obsessions which will make you a better person’ and saw many parallels with my own viewpoint.

Carvel states that six healthy obsessions are: family; values; health; learning; making a difference; balance.

My role as Principal, along with my personal life, provide me with the opportunity to adhere to these as far as I can. It’s a stressful job, and one which is very demanding, but high investment can bring high reward. Asserting one’s own priorities internally is important, and all of the six ‘obsessions’ have their place.

In terms of family, I like to consider myself a dedicated husband and father. I am keenly aware that time spent with both my wife and daughter is precious and finite - and that the connections which I hold with both are the most important in my life. It is often said that one is replaceable at work and irreplaceable at home, and this is absolutely right. I’m very fortunate to have what I have in terms of family - and draw a huge amount of pleasure from it.

Values are not something which can be dropped or picked up at will in my opinion. Values have to be lived day in day out. It is vital that an image of evenness and consistency is projected, particularly in my position.

So what are my values? I think it is fair to say that I embody those of the College: 

-I am here to make the very best of myself by being present and engaged in every lesson all of the time; 

-I try my best to improve and give all of my effort to ensure that I give myself the best chance I can to make progress; 

-I am considerate of all other people who are part of the same community as me. I think about their needs, I am polite to them and I try to help them when I can.

I don’t think anyone can go far wrong, in any situation, by adhering to these.

It has only truly been through the arrival of my daughter that I’ve come to appreciate how important my health is. The quality and longevity of my life is critical to me. It manifests itself in the fact that I do my best to eat well, to sleep well and to exercise regularly. Not only does this make me feel stronger physically, but it improves my mental strength to a great degree. It is no coincidence that I feel more uptight when I have not been for a run for a while, or that I feel less ready to take on life when I have not fuelled my body properly.

The attitude to improve has always been fundamental to me. I try, as far as I can, to read - to further myself, and in the pursuit of new ideas, because new ideas and new approaches make my life better. This has developed to a point where I question ‘why’ things are as they are, and how I can attend to them in a better way. Again, my approach here is rather obsessive, but I feel that it’s a healthy approach. I always consider all options before acting. I used to be an over-thinker, but confidence in myself, which wasn’t always there, has now enabled decisiveness.

I enjoy the fact that in my job, a difference can be made. When I worked for a short period of time in a bank, I recall thinking one day that my not being there would have made almost no detrimental impact. Here I feel important, I feel valued, and I feel that I play a part in changing lives which remains the reason I became a teacher in the first place. It’s a wonderful reason to get up in the morning.

Finally, perhaps the most difficult thing to manage is balance. It is the one key aspect which can allay the worst characteristics of obsession. As Calver proposes, ‘the trick is to keep the flame burning without succumbing to the temptation to aim the heat too exclusively at a single target.’ We all have a multitude of matters to deal with and attend to, and organisation is the key to being able to deal with them all to a good standard. Where one is struggling to manage this, of course, having a network of people around to support is vital, and having the self-awareness to know that one can’t do it all on their own and seeks assistance where necessary, is fundamental to avoiding a debilitating fixation with any issue.

I’ll close the blog with Calver’s words: ‘Successful living is living with passion. It is being obsessed with living the right kind of life in the right way. It is an obsession with making the most out of the life you were given. An obsession with life is an obsession with living it to its fullest.’

Though having such a mindset is not easy, it’s the right way - and I try to follow it in everything that I do.